It's good to be reminded

Yesterday I was reminded that I am not my own. recently i applied for a job at a church/community that i have watched from the outside for a long time. it's a place that was started moving in the direction i have always wanted to go as a person employed at a church. i traveled to the end of the interview road with one other chap, only to mailed the proverbial letter "we have decided not to pursue your candidacy any further at this point."

at this point, i was mad, frustrated, rejected, pissed off, ready to throw in the towel. how many times will i get within reach of something that i long for, only for it to elude my grasp? how many times will there appear to be an open door that turns out to be a mirage that vanishes as i get closer?

and then, i was reminded...in isaiah 55, God tells israel that he is up to something new! he is doing something in the world that is different, upside down, and hard to understand. in fact, he even goes as far as saying "my ways are not your ways, and my thoughts are not your thoughts." and he says, "incline your ear to me, lean in and hear, so that your soul may live." thankfully, when i don't know what the hell is going on, and it feels like everything that would have made sense and given me life doesn't materialize, i will lean in, and turn my ear towards heaven in hopes that God isn't lying in isaiah 55. sometimes it's good to be reminded of things you know to be true, but sometimes forget.

simply sensational

so a bridge collapsed in city the other day. it was quite a sight. bridges just don't collapse everyday. they are built to last. they are feat of modern science, engineering and construction, and in less than five seconds, what once stood tall and ignored (or at least taken for granted) was gone.

my brother and i were talking, about the bridge collapsing, and he said,
"i don't mean any disrespect at all to people who were hurt or killed when the bridge fell, but it's somewhat concerning to me how we sensationalize certain people's death, and ignore others. i mean, there was a girl who was abducted and killed a few years ago. it was all over the news. it just so happens that she was white, attractive, and her parents were rich. what about the people who die every day right here in minneapolis that never make the news, or receive our undying prayers and support? it's just interesting to me."

so...

what do you do with that?

totally guilty!

when do i pray for those who have less than i do? when do i comfort the broken or the hurt? when was the last time i did anything about those who don't have enough food in my community? if i'm not mistaken, which i am often, but if i'm not this time, i'm pretty sure Jesus did those things and asks those who follow Him and bear His name to do the same. how do we live lives that are concerned with and engaged with the poor, the suffering, the dying, the marginalized? how do we get in tune with the Jesus and the heart of what He was about here on the earth in a habitual fashion? where it's actually a part of our lives and not something we do to feel good about ourselves? the questions are for me, not for you. but if they sting a little, maybe they're for you too...

wandering around aimlessly...

i am not a fan of meandering. if i'm out and about, i usually know where i'm going, why i'm going there, when i'll get there, and what i'll do when i get there. recently i have learned this is not how everyone lives life. some people are just happy to be out and about. i think they enjoy the journey maybe even more than the destination. the competitive, 2nd of five boys, never say die part of me thinks they are crazy, but i am learning to love them and maybe even learning to appreciate their perspective. recently, i have found myself in the midst of a major transition in life. i don't have a job that defines me and my day to day activities. i have no real deadlines that challenge me to produce something and therefore allow me to calculate and assess my worth. and nobody is really telling me "great job micah..." because the work i'm involved in is with my brother sanding floors that people will eventually walk on.

what if there is something for me to learn in this stretch of time? what if i am not the sum of my accomplishments and "jobs well done" and am loved just because i'm me? what if i can learn to trust, and wait on God in times of uncertainty and doubt? what if i can learn to just be still and know that there is a God out there who loves me and wants what is best for me? what if the journey really is something beautiful in and of itself? i wonder what will happen when "i get there?" i'll probably wish i could go back and enjoy the simple things in life like my daughter running through the sprinkler or splashing in the bath tub. or the sound of my wife's voice on the other end of the phone..."hey it's me."

maybe i'll just meander here a bit longer and to see what i can see.